After my first surgery about 10 months ago, my plastic surgeon decided to make me asymmetrical so that when I had radiation, things would even out. I’m not sure how that works. But, that last minute decision on her part made things extra awesome for me when I didn’t need radiation after surgery.

I knew going in that reconstruction isn’t a perfect science but no amount of mental preparation could give me a sense of what this is like. I’m starting to understand why people who have reconstruction surgery usually have many surgeries. No one really explains how it’s an iterative process. It’s like having surgeries to go through puberty in your boobs.

I hadn’t thought of my boobs or chest so much in my whole life. I realize now how much I took them for granted and underestimated what it takes to get something of equal or greater value.

It’s still early to tell whether the asymmetry is better. I am much happier with this second round of implants. I was naturally a DD and the first surgery left with me with the equivalent of a full B or small C cup. As much as it was nice to have a smaller size, it didn’t look right—at all.

The challenge with implants being used to replace a natural breast is that an implant can’t replicate the inner-workings of  a breast. For woman having augmentation, their breasts have tissue and the implant is adding to it. The implant doesn’t have to fill the volume and mass of a breast as it does for a mastectomy patient.So, for woman with reconstruction, you have boobs, but you lack the profile or projection of a natural boob or cleavage.

Luckily, anatomical implants which are what I have now, these help with both projection and cleavage. But, it’s still nowhere near to what I had. I’m aware of how much my big boobs offset my tummy. A bigger chest gave me a  better boob to gut ratio. I’m sure tamoxifen isn’t helping me in the tummy department.

Recovery this time around has been brutal but I don’t have drains. So, that’s been sweet. My sister’s double mastectomy is coming  up in a couple of weeks. I have to say, she has huge lady balls. I had cancer and really didn’t want to go through surgery. She is having surgery as a preventive measure. I feel that’s a much tougher call to make.